and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize