Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
