so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
