of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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