Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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