I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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