physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
