Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
