yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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