Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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