he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
