Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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