Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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