He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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