Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
