where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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