We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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