i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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