I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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