I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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