Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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