I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
