I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize