would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
