No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
