I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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