The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
