the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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