i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
