Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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