Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He has the fingertips of a God
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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