you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
