Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
