Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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