Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
