Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
