my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
