The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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