They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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