Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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