You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
