she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
