im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
