I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I looked at my own cervix.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize