I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
