those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
