I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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