the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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