My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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