I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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