What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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