If that was your dad, he is hot
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
